yes, I model sometimes. And yes, I am having a hard time with it. I mean why conform to the man's image, why let him use me to continue this sick idea of beauty, why do I want to look good for him? Image really only brings me trouble, but see... I am vain. I am superficial, and another one of those girls who puts on make-up and dresses up to play my part in this materialistic society. But to be honest a bit of me enjoys "passing" the man's standards of beauty, being accepted for something such as image, is superficial, but nonetheless it is being accepted. And the fact that I even wrote that makes me feel guilty and sick to my stomache.
I know how I feel about the industry, I think it's a crap shoot. Coming from a girl who had a eating disorder since a young age, I know what these images do to people. I hate being a part of the system, but the system is already a part of me. Can someone stand up and fight for women's rights while being a puppet for an industry held up by the strings of botox, fake boobs, and all things that make women feel horrible about themselves. I grew up wanting to look perfect, to conform to something beautiful, to be envied. And now I am having a really hard time with where this has brought me, and who it has brought me to be.
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